We believe we know the highest outcome, the full story, the way that things are going to pan out before we even begin the journey, and so we develop expectations which often lead to disappointment when the things that are showing up in our life do not meet these expectations.

We believe we have been jipped, we’ve been ‘tested’ by the Universe and we begin to go around in a spiral of bitterness and frustration - pushing away the blessing that has been bestowed upon us, turning up our nose at the beautiful meal the Universe has been cooking for us all along because it is not to our tastes.

It’s tempting to want to rationalise or try to understand why we feel certain emotions during the healing process. We often want to know what the root cause of these emotions are, where the wounds come from, what trauma we’re healing from or what’s on the other side of the release.

We believe that if we were to know, it would be easier to give ourselves permission to go there – fully. But the reality is, so much of our wounding is on the level of soul, and what our soul is feeling doesn’t necessarily make logical or rational sense.

Many of us aren’t equipped to deal with (or are seriously unprepared for) the intricate process that is healing. When we start out on our healing journey for the first time, we’re in for a shock because the way that healing is portrayed by many doesn’t accurately depict what we can expect to go through.

In truth, the reality can be super bleak and the healing process can last a long time (and by that I mean our whole life, because we’re always healing and growing).

Many light workers are battling deep feelings of wanting to leave the planet right now.

And I need to make it clear that I am not framing it in a nice fluffy “ascending so far we transcend our physical forms and go home” sort of way (because of course, we can always romanticise returning from whence we came, and how things are so much better on our home planets where everything is love and light).

When I talk about these feelings many people are having, I’m referring to desiring to intentionally leave their bodies, end their lifetime in this physical form and exit this planet for good.

Loneliness assumes that there is such a thing as separation and lack. It focuses on what is not present and what is missing.

Aloneness is knowing that we are never truly alone. It is knowing that we are all one and we don’t need to constantly surround ourselves with people to feel connected and whole.

Yes, I am alone. But I am not lonely.

I fully sink into my aloneness and enjoying my own company. I sink into feeling my energy being completely clear and unaffected.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of resenting the growth lessons, the hard times, and the struggles you’ve been through. It’s easy to want to give up, to stew in your pain, and remain stuck there forever. Humans have to go through A LOT in our short times here on earth. Crushing blows, heartbreak, loss, health issues, disappointments, set backs, and trajectory changes – just to name a few. Never underestimate how strong you really are, and the beautiful places these hardships are all taking you.

There’s a misguided notion in the healing and wellness space that we must constantly be healing until the day we die. This has many of us trapped in a healing hole, a deep hole where our ego’s use vicious cycles of healing to keep us in suffering mode.

This notion is dangerous because it perpetuates endless ‘healing’ black holes where we get stuck in constant up and down cycles of healing, purging, and clearing. We never stop to fully integrate, nor do we ever ‘reach’ our destination because we always believe there’s more we must clear and more we must heal.

The journey to sacred union can be a heart-opening, expansive and beautiful experience - but it can be equally heart-breaking, triggering and painful. The purpose of a divine union with an external counterpart is to come into sovereign and also unconditionally loving connection with another human being, which means that in the process of coming together - and throughout the stages of relating and deepening the bond - anything internally that is blocking or in contradiction to either of these things, will be up for review. Literally every single inner child wound, past life trauma, attachment style, belief system and behavioural pattern that is not serving or is keeping you in separation from others, preventing you from fully loving and accepting yourself, or perpetuates co-dependency or unhealthy relationship pattern will be cleared in the process.

True love is like a freight train. It doesn’t sneak up on you subtly, or grow slowly as most people like to tell you.

It knocks you over with full force – streaming and howling into your life with no notice, no warning and no preparation for the upheaval your life is about to experience.

There is an intensity about it that you cannot avoid or ignore (even if you attempt to stay in denial or brush it off as just a little crush), and you cannot run from it. 

True love is finding the ability within yourself to love again after countless heartbreaks, and after vowing to yourself that you’ll never love like this again. In fact, it is only through the countless heartbreaks (the brushing yourself off and picking yourself up after hours, days, weeks spent in the bathtub listening to Bon Iver and crying into your glass of red wine), that true love is able to appear.

When your heart is mature enough, it has experienced enough of the contrast to recognise and appreciate true love when it finally appears. 

Surrender is a term that is thrown around a lot in the spiritual space. It is a term which personally, has the ability to send me into fits of rage simply by being suggested or uttered. “But I was surrendering! I am surrendering! How much more can I surrender, damn it?!”

The act of surrendering (or a hellbent refusal to surrender) has brought upon many painful lessons, many fueled debates with my ego, and many petulant-child-like tantrums where I’ve found myself shaking my fists at the heavens and screaming “fine, you win! I surrender!”

The fact is, as easy as it sounds and as simple as the premise is, surrendering can be anything but easy.

It’s not uncommon as a healer, empath, intuitive, psychic, shaman or someone else who is here to use their spiritual gifts to spend entire days in bed sometimes.

Full disclosure: I’m writing this article from bed as we speak – and I have zero guilt or shame around admitting that once I’m finished writing this article, I’ll probably remain in bed for the rest of the day. #treatyoself

In fact, here is my full permission to allow yourself to do this more often, if you don’t already.