Surrender is a term that is thrown around a lot in the spiritual space. It is a term which personally, has the ability to send me into fits of rage simply by being suggested or uttered. “But I was surrendering! I am surrendering! How much more can I surrender, damn it?!” 

The act of surrendering (or a hellbent refusal to surrender) has brought upon many painful lessons, many fueled debates with my ego, and many petulant-child-like tantrums where I’ve found myself shaking my fists at the heavens and screaming “fine, you win! I surrender!” 

The fact is, as easy as it sounds and as simple as the premise is, surrendering can be anything but easy.

Surrendering goes against our very fundamental and basic human nature

Our ego (the part of us that wants to keep us safe) will do anything but surrender, it will not back down, it will not stop fighting for its perceived outcome or expectation because it believes that it is right. It believes that it knows the best way for things to be resolved, for projects to come to fruition, for money to be made, and for relationships to unfold. 

It wants to cling to the known and it wants to cling to what we perceive is best for us.

It wants to hold on to what is familiar and to the way that we have done things in the past successfully – or crazily enough, unsuccessfully yet still somehow believing that doing things the exact same way are going to bring forth a different result.

Related post: Understanding True Love: What True Love is and What it is Not

To surrender is to allow ourselves to be guided by the infinite source of knowledge

Surrendering, in truth, is a willingness to accept and acknowledge all that we do not know and to allow ourselves to be guided by the infinite source of knowledge that is capable of manifesting anything into form. Sometimes, this means we are forced to let go of connections, dreams, and perceived outcomes that we are attached to in order to allow something better to come in.

Often we are fearful that ‘something better’ is not possible for us, so we cling onto what we know.

We hold onto relationships that do not honor us and people that are not for us. We hustle and push trying to launch something in our business that is not the best use of our gifts. We pressure and micromanage the universe in our attempts to regain some semblance of control over outcomes that are ultimately out of our hands.

Related post: Why Your Biggest Pain Is Also The Source Of Your Biggest Strength

This brings upon great pain, suffering, frustration when we see our failed attempts blowing up in our faces over and over again – we see the person we love walk away from us into the arms of another, we see our bank account dipping into the redzone, our path forward being blocked.

These roadblocks are not an act of cruelty or the Universe telling us we don’t get to have what we want. They are gently reminding us and guiding us to the truth that there is another way – often an easier way.
That if we were to just release our grip on the reigns, on the ropes that we are holding onto then we allow the space for something new, something magical to materialise.

Then, miracles become possible

Windows open where doors have been shut. Soulmates show up on your front door step. Clients land in your inbox saying ‘take my money!’.

People, opportunities and circumstances arrange themselves in the most perfect and divinely guided fashion that you can only attribute to the act of a loving consciousness that is capable of far greater, far more powerful outcomes than you could ever have dreamed up yourself. 

When we are forced to ‘surrender and offer it to God for correction’, it can be incredibly painful because in the simple act of doing so, your ego must face a tiny death. It must detach from the dreams, the hopes, the desires it once had in order to make space for better dreams to materialise. It must acknowledge and recognise what it does not know, and the simple fact that co-creation involves a willingness to weave God’s plans into your own, allowing some space for wiggle room and the unexpected that often is better than the outcome you had dreamt of on your own.

Miracles need faith in order to occur. 

Manifestations need space in which to be birthed into form. Magic needs energy behind it to happen. 

Learn to work with the divine

If you are clinging to a specific outcome, you are not allowing this energy to be redirected to creating something new – you are not allowing God the wiggle room needed to bring you something new and different. 

So, as hard as it can be to surrender sometimes, I leave you with this question –

Are you willing to let your limited human mind dictate the possibilities of what you can co-create and remain within the confines of the box of the known?
Or would you rather release your attachment and work with the divine, trusting that in the unknown is something even better – even more of a perfect fit – than you possibly could have dreamed of is on its way to you, right now? 

The choice is yours. 

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Walking Away from “The One” - Dealing With the Heartbreak of Separation