Are You Trapped In a ‘Healing Hole’? Here’s How To Get Out Of It

There’s a misguided notion in the healing and wellness space that we must constantly be healing until the day we die. This has many of us trapped in a healing hole, a deep hole where our ego’s use vicious cycles of healing to keep us in suffering mode.

That as humans, we’re fundamentally broken and in need of ‘fixing’. We believe we need to be completely ‘healed’ first, before we can draw in what we wish to create.

This notion is dangerous because it perpetuates endless ‘healing’ black holes where we get stuck in constant up and down cycles of healing, purging, and clearing. We never stop to fully integrate, nor do we ever ‘reach’ our destination because we always believe there’s more we must clear and more we must heal.

Suffering is the ego’s way of feeling important

If we’re always under the belief that there’s more to clear and more to heal, then God will have no choice but to bring us exactly that, to have our reality reflect this belief of ours. Which means we’ll always be healing.

And, if you’re anything like me (who, full disclosure, is still learning to navigate this lesson), here’s exactly what will happen:

Your ego will use the concept of ‘healing’ to keep you trapped in patterns of martyrdom and victimhood simply because it is addicted to suffering.

This is a trap that many ‘spiritual’ people fall into.

They think “well, now that I’ve cleared my addictions and attachments, my ego has nothing to identify and won’t cause me any more suffering”, not realising that their ego will creep in the back door and their spiritual identity will use the very process of healing itself to keep them stuck in the proverbial mud.

What then happens is something comes up to heal – whether it be a trauma, past life, trigger, or any emotion that needs releasing, expressing and transmuting, for our soul’s evolution.

And that is fine! That’s how it should be. 

It only becomes a problem when we allow the healing cycle to go on for far longer than it should, thinking “there’s more to clear here”, or “here’s another wound and past life coming up that I need to rid myself of”, or “why do these lessons keep showing up?”. This does nothing but keep us stuck in a feedback loop of healing, clearing, and purging.

Is it you who is refusing to let your suffering go?

If you are able to lovingly, non-judgmentally, and compassionately allow yourself to feel it and release it (without attaching a story to it), it will soon pass. As long as you don’t get caught up in the drama of the whirlwind ups and downs of a purge, all will be ok.

The moment you start asking “what more is there to clear here?”, “why haven’t I turned a corner yet?” or my personal favourite “why does this suck so much?”, is the exact moment you get trapped in the healing hole.

You’ll be praying (and trust me, I’ve been there many times, thanks to my inner-martyr), “please, God, guides, universe, higher-self, anyone who’s listening. Help me clear and release this and turn a corner” – not realising that it’s you, in fact, that is refusing to let it go and hand it over to the divine.

It’s your identification with the pain, the suffering, the jesus-christ-why-won’t-this-end-already-so-I-can-have-my-uplevel that is preventing that catharsis from finally taking place.

If you choose to stay trapped in a never-ending cycle of healing, you’ll always be suffering

God wants you to hand over your pain, your suffering, your problems. There are no problems and no wounds that can’t be healed by the divine.

But even though many of us are asking for help, we’re unwilling to actually accept help because we prefer to stay stuck in suffering and isolation. 

As someone who’s here to facilitate healing and whose entire life and career is based around healing, I feel the need to address this today.

Yes, healing is important.

Yes, going deep and addressing our wounds, traumas, past lives, relationship triggers, and energetic blocks is going to help you to evolve and grow as a soul.

But healing doesn’t have to be a constant never-ending cycle, and it doesn’t have to be as difficult as we make it.

If you’re stuck in a healing hole and constantly searching for ‘more healing’ to do, my advice is this – hand it over to the divine. 

Just let go. 

And allow yourself to receive the support you need.