In the first stages of the goddess awakening within us we will experience rage, anger, distrust of the masculine and mourning for all that the feminine has been put through throughout history, for all of the pain and suffering that has happened in the world at the hand of the wounded masculine. It is in this phase where we reclaim our wild woman and lay aside all of the judgements of the ‘too muchness’ of our raw emotion - the parts of the feminine which have been chastised, rejected or cast away.

It’s tempting to want to rationalise or try to understand why we feel certain emotions during the healing process. We often want to know what the root cause of these emotions are, where the wounds come from, what trauma we’re healing from or what’s on the other side of the release.

We believe that if we were to know, it would be easier to give ourselves permission to go there – fully. But the reality is, so much of our wounding is on the level of soul, and what our soul is feeling doesn’t necessarily make logical or rational sense.

Many of us aren’t equipped to deal with (or are seriously unprepared for) the intricate process that is healing. When we start out on our healing journey for the first time, we’re in for a shock because the way that healing is portrayed by many doesn’t accurately depict what we can expect to go through.

In truth, the reality can be super bleak and the healing process can last a long time (and by that I mean our whole life, because we’re always healing and growing).

Loneliness assumes that there is such a thing as separation and lack. It focuses on what is not present and what is missing.

Aloneness is knowing that we are never truly alone. It is knowing that we are all one and we don’t need to constantly surround ourselves with people to feel connected and whole.

Yes, I am alone. But I am not lonely.

I fully sink into my aloneness and enjoying my own company. I sink into feeling my energy being completely clear and unaffected.

There comes a time in your spiritual journey where it feels like not a lot is happening – in fact, it can feel like you are moving backwards in many ways. Things seem to be falling apart, structures in which you thought were solid are crumbling in front of your eyes, relationships are ending abruptly and doors are closing. 

Yet, you look around and there does not seem to be any hint of the new to replace that which has fallen away. It’s almost a case of three steps forward, two steps back.

You are wondering why you are being made to sacrifice so much, why this crumbling is taking place. You may begin to give up hope entirely and feel like you have back-slid to the state you were in before you started on this journey. It echoes the feelings of despair and hopelessness that the original Dark Night of the Soul stirred within you.